Affair Recovery for Couples and Individuals
When an affair changes everything
An affair can feel devastating. Many people describe it as the ground dropping out from under them. You may feel overwhelmed by anger, grief, shock, confusion, or shame. You may find yourself replaying details, unable to sleep, or questioning everything you thought you knew about your relationship.
If you are the betrayed partner, you may feel unsafe, disconnected, and unsure whether you can ever trust again. If you are the partner who had the affair, you may feel deep guilt, fear, and uncertainty about how to repair the harm you caused.
Affairs are profoundly painful, but they do not have to be the end of a relationship or the end of your sense of self. With the proper support, healing is possible.
How do we recover from an Affair?
What affair recovery helps with
Affair recovery focuses specifically on helping individuals and couples heal after infidelity. Affairs impact emotional safety, attachment, and intimacy. They often trigger intense emotional reactions and patterns of conflict, withdrawal, or shutdown.
In therapy, we work to:
- Slow things down so emotions do not take over
- Help both partners understand the impact of the affair
- Make sense of what led to the affair without blame or defensiveness
- Support honest conversations that do not retraumatize
- Rebuild emotional connection, trust, and intimacy over time
Affair recovery is not about minimizing what happened or rushing forgiveness. It is about understanding, repairing, and deciding how you want to move forward.
Treatment Options
Individual and Couples Therapy for Affair Recovery
Explore which approach may be right for you and your relationship.
Individual therapy after an affair
Some people benefit from starting with individual therapy after infidelity. This can be especially helpful if emotions feel overwhelming or if you need space to process before engaging in couples' work.
Individual therapy can help you:
- Process shock, anger, grief, or shame related to the affair
- Understand your emotional responses and attachment needs
- Work through trauma symptoms such as hypervigilance or numbness
- Clarify what you want moving forward in or outside the relationship
This work creates a stronger foundation, whether your next step is couples therapy or personal healing.
Couples therapy for healing after infidelity
Couples therapy after an affair provides a structured, supportive space to address the rupture and begin repair. Many couples want to heal but feel stuck in cycles of blame, withdrawal, defensiveness, or silence.
In couples therapy, we focus on:
- Creating emotional safety so conversations do not escalate
- Understanding the emotional disconnection that existed before the affair
- Rebuilding trust through responsiveness, consistency, and honesty
- Strengthening emotional and physical intimacy at a pace that feels safe
The goal is not to assign fault but to help both partners feel understood and emotionally reconnected.
What affair recovery looks like in practice:
How Emotionally Focused Therapy supports affair recovery
I use Emotionally Focused Therapy to guide affair recovery work. EFT is an evidence-based approach grounded in attachment science and emotional connection. It is especially effective for healing after infidelity because it focuses on the emotional bond between partners.
Using EFT, we work to:
- Identify the emotional injuries caused by the affair
- Help partners express fear, sadness, and longing beneath anger or shutdown
- Shift rigid negative interaction patterns that keep couples stuck
- Create moments of emotional responsiveness that rebuild trust
- Develop a more secure and resilient emotional connection
Affairs often happen in the context of emotional disconnection. EFT helps couples repair that disconnection and build a stronger, more secure bond moving forward.
Where to start?
Begin affair recovery with support
If you are struggling after an affair, you do not have to navigate this alone. Healing is possible with the proper guidance and support. I offer individual and couples therapy to help you process what happened repair emotional connection and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.